There are two fundamental criteria for an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis: certain social and communication difficulties, and patterns of restrictive and repetitive behaviour.

Mobile phone anyone?

“Vegetables are losing their nutrients. Can the decline be reversed?”

Humans are losing their marbles, anisotropically at that. Nothing can be done about it.

Situation: The Australian Turf Club (ATC) managed to get into a bit of a financial hole. How anyone in the horse racing game gets into financial difficulty is anyone’s guess. But I’m tipping utter incompetence, of the highest order, or feigned difficulties, for effect. In any case, the NSW gub’ment is looking to solve the “housing crisis” (as helpfully promoted by the slapstick media, along with the Costa Living Crisis) by building a new suburb or two, preferably closer to the Sydney CBD than Goulburn. So, whammo, a deal is struck to sell Rosehill Racecourse to developers for the building of a new suburb, pre-approved for development by the NSW gub’ment. All done above board with no promises of future or current gain to the individuals involved, honestly! And to make it work, they, the gub’ment, will build the ATC a new racetrack nearby at the Brickpit lake at Homebush. It makes you wonder why they don’t just build the new suburb at the nearby Brickpit lake, doesn’t it? But don’t let’s get distracted now.

Complication: “Reported plan to move Sydney’s Rosehill racecourse to endangered bell frog habitat surprises conservationists”

Resolution: Well, the plan is buggered isn’t it? It will be lovely to watch this play out. Who will win? The weirdos and their frogs, or the brown paper bag merchants. I prefer none of the above of course.

The conceptual framework of Organised Hypocrisy….

“The starting-point is that hypocrisy is the normal state of affairs in domestic politics. It is a response by political organisations, like national parliaments or governments, facing conflicting values, demands and interests: talk, decisions and action are decoupled or counter-coupled.”

You say Threskiornis molucca, I say bin-chicken.

The exact antonym is a mediocracy.

That’s us, Australia.

Security at Canberra airport took a 5mm Allen Key off me.

Words cannot express…

Apparently the only part of Jetstar that makes a profit is the inflight food and beverage service.

Running and financing a whole airline seems like a complicated way to get into the tuckshop business.

I’ve reconsidered the scope of AI.

I think we need to focus our efforts to replace our federal govt, in its entirety, with AI.

The politicians, parliament house, staffers, govt departments, public servants, etc. They all get replaced with an AI engine running on a single Raspberry Pi.

It couldn’t be any worse and it would have to be cheaper.

From a pattern recognition POV, quantum computing looks to be a boondoggle writ large. I have seen one or two in my time, and this looks bigger and hairier than most.

Practically speaking one wonders how the entrepreneurs and their minions get away with fooling so many investors.
Well, the same way they always do.
Spruiking through third party observers, creating the Fear Of Missing Out, hiding behind the technical mumbo jumbo, and genuinely believing their own bullshit.
And in this case the mumbo jumbo is hiding in plain sight – it is so opaque as to be impenetrable to most.

And that is the key for my research – is it possible or likely that quantum computers will ever work and do anything worthwhile?

About the only algorithm that has any value on a QC is Shor’s algorithm.
All it does is find the prime factors of an integer.
Practically speaking the best QC to date has run this algo for the integer 21.
No shit, 21.
My 6 year old can do that maths using brute force or intuition. 3 x 7 = 21, where 3 and 7 are prime numbers.
IBM tried to do the integer 35 and failed due to noise.

If Shor’s algorithm could work on a real QC it is in theory exponentially quicker than a digital computer.
Or super-polynomial faster, or whatever. Just much better, on paper.
You wouldn’t notice any improvement however until the integers got really big.

One might ask how a QC solves Shor’s algorithm…but that is the wrong question altogether.
In fact you would disappear into a bottomless pit of mumbo jumbo of integrals, Bra-kets, qubits and gates.
Its far more instructive to consider what limits quantum computers from solving the prime factors of large integers…

Qubits work by mysteriously solving vector and matrix problems through qubit entanglement.
The right answer just pops out of qubit entanglement like magic, so long as you setup and run the gates properly.
I don’t think the details matter much unless you are doing the programming.
Let’s call it “rabbit in the hat” computing. Ta-da.

I did some research with Simon Devitt and we concluded (i.e. I did such shit calcs that Simon was compelled to do it well) that by making reasonable assumptions, namely with the theoretical maximum of 4.2PB of RAM, using the entire MIPS computing capacity of the whole world in 2024 (ca. 2.8×10^16 MIPS) , we could emulate a 48-qubit quantum computer, error free and approximation free at an effective clock rate of approximately 21KHz.

However, Simon has a plan to create a 90 qubit emulator for Quokka v2.
So that got me wondering, does he have access to the RAM and CPUs of an entire other planet or two quadrillion, that I don’t know about?

No, Simon is going to use “non-exact” emulation.
The key to this sleight of hand is the amount of entanglement that is generated in a particular quantum circuit.
If your quantum circuit is not generating a lot of entanglement globally over the entire computer but instead works by generating limited “pockets” across smaller qubit subsets, it runs fast and more accurately.

As the circuit starts generating more and more entanglement across the whole computer, the tensors that you use to model the QC either begin to grow in size (exponentially) and you run out of memory or you start truncating them.

The truncation now introduces an error in the emulation (i.e. the output of your emulator becomes less and less accurate compared to what would be expected in a real machine). Sometimes you can theoretically bound the error in your final output, sometimes it is chaotic and your output from the emulated QC is completely unreliable. Which circuits you can bound, the approximation error, and which you can’t, changes depending on what you’re running.

Note that these approximation techniques always crap out too and often are not useful in quantum algorithms that provide exponential advantage over classical versions (such as factoring). If these emulation techniques worked well for general purpose QC then we wouldn’t really need to build actual QCs – we could run these algos using emulation on digital computers.

What this tells us is that to get rid of noise and errors you need to stabilise or isolate the qubits.
However to make a QC device useful you need to get entanglement over all the qubits.

Qubits that are controllable means they couple when you want them to couple, which also means they couple to shit when you don’t want them to, creating noise.
You’re playing a balancing act to have qubits that interact with you sufficiently to do stuff vs interact with everything else weakly enough to reduce noise.

This is fundamental and will likely result in the fact that QC will forever need high levels of redundancy through error correction. Unlike classical semiconductors, it is unlikely that errors in qubits will ever be low enough to remove the need for error correction.

But luckily, error correction is effective once error rates hit 0.1% or lower (that is, the additional qubit overhead used to correct errors doesn’t ruin the so-called supremacy of QCs over digital computers for certain problems) which is an error rate achievable with quantum technology while balancing on that knifes edge.
No one knows today if this needle can be threaded successfully. Of course they are all saying , yes we can. No self-interest there.

In my working experience developing all sorts of technology products, you need a (meta) steady state zone to make a product. If you are on a knife’s edge you can never make your product reliably enough for it to be sold.

So my money is on not, today. But we will see. Also I can sniff self-serving BS a mile away.

I would be happy to be wrong of course. So much money and so many brains – they might get lucky.
But you actually can’t beat entropy not matter how far into quantum theory you go.
I get this feeling that quantum people don’t actually understand entropy and how it applies to practical systems, i.e. the interface to these QCs is up here in the real world.

However even if they make the devices work, their application will be very limited to certain sorts of algorithms/problems which are enabled by rabbit-in-the-hat computing.
Actually they will be at least 10-100x times more limited than super-computers (by problem), which have never achieved, at any single moment, more than 0.5% of worlds MIPS processing capacity.
So let’s say $140m-$1.4b per annum based on the current supercomputer industry market size ($14b)
They will stay as supercomputers because of the cryogenic requirements, the size and cost, and the limited market need.

Even if it all works out, we have already over-invested into this market opportunity.

I’m starting to get a bit down on the human race.

Let’s say I think we’re a pack of dicks, fucking up the biosphere.

Is that racism? Or just a fact? (using the defamation defence)

We are after all a minority. There’s only 8 billion of us and there’s 20 quadrillion ants, for example.

So it begs the question, can a minority slag off at itself and avoid the label of racism?

Victoria (the state) is introducing the Confiscation Amendment (Unexplained Wealth) Bill in an effort to deprive criminals of the “use and enjoyment of their unexplained wealth”.

Basically the onus of proof flips to the holder of wealth. If they can’t explain where they got the cash for their yachts, penthouse suites and sex workers, then they get an equivalent debt to the state.

Basically Victoria is socialising the profits from criminal activity. That’s still criminal theft, no matter which way you look at it. Receiving stolen goods or the proceeds from crime is a crime, right?

However because our politicians are all totally corrupt to the core, it probably looks reasonable to them.

The outcome; their criminals will spend their ill-gotten gains elsewhere. Bad luck Victoria…

Geophagia is the craving and purposive consumption of non-food items (clay mostly) – and is classified as an eating disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) if not socially or culturally appropriate.

Diversity: the inclusion of people of different races regardless of any noticeable cultural differences between them.

Racism: any observation of the different cultural habits of different races.

Hypocrisy: a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not : behavior that contradicts what one claims to believe or feel.

Dissonance: an instance of inconsistency or disagreement.

It’s voting day. Our choices are:

[  ] Corruption as usual – labour and the coalition

[  ] Incompetence and stupidity – Greens

[  ] Weird-arse fucktards – random independents

[X] none of the above

Just joking, that last option isn’t real. We’re we’re obliged to turn up at the threat of a $150 fine, and vote for one of these top three clowns.

The advertising agency was giving us some life advice from the back of the bus, in the context of an ad for a private high school;

“They’re only dreams if they’re yours”

Funny fuckers…

It’s a bit confusing that Sam Kerr can make a racist remark that apparently isn’t racist because it was directed to a member of a racial majority. Then later an Islander Rugby league player abuses an Aboriginal player, and it’s racist.

My view is that they shouldn’t be thinking in racial adjectives at all, majority or minority. It just reflects a way of thinking that does you no good.

Looking back at my school days in the 70s I recall numerous racial slurs floating around.

They were meant to sting and they sometimes did because the recipient rarely had a useful comeback. As an aside, if they took it badly they were sort of buying into the racism.

The entire point of the slurs was to get in the last word in an argument before fists started flying.

I also can’t recall anyone being actually racist in the sense of genuinely believing that a certain race was inferior in any way.

In our melting pot of a school we simply had too much data that proved just the opposite. Plus, we had too many races present, and it wouldn’t have been very practical – you would have had no friends.

For example, in soccer the best players were all of Italian origin. We didn’t give it to them, the clear “racial” superiority. No way, we “Australians” and Greeks (plus the odd Armenian or Chinese kid) were much better at stats after all.

I guess I’m saying people can act racist without actually being racist. Which is why it makes sense to crack down on racist behaviour. It only works if the underlying person isn’t racist.

And for those genuinely racist types, well they will slowly be bred out of the human race with no affirming behaviours to hang onto.

A common noun suffix is -ation.

As in orientation. Or is it oriention?

Who knows or cares even?

So many thoughts and so little interest.

Success is when you start boring yourself with your own prosaic bullshit.

Trying to compete with China?

Their top 0.1%, that small clique that is entrepreneurial, rigorous, motivated and resourced to fuck, that’s 1.4 million people.

We’ve actually got none because the 27,000 candidates don’t get resourced.

If you can have non-alcoholic beer then why not gluten free Weetbix?

Stealthing, the media tells me, is the removal of a condom during sex, without consent.

They’ve just made it a criminal offence in Queensland, equivalent to rape.

What if it comes off all by itself? Do they charge the condom manufacturer with rape?

And don’t you get into a he-said she-said situation, where his (or hers I guess, or it’s/their) defence is that the condom did it all by itself, which does happen. In those situations, the party with the most money for lawyers tends to win.

I’m pretty sure they should avoid criminalising anything that requires a judge or a jury to display accurate and precise character judgement.

The truth is, I regret my insurance premiums every year, unless I claim on insurance.

When you think about it, insurance is like gambling. Over your life you’re guaranteed to lose because the insurance companies are profitable. That is, you pay them more than they pay you.

The longer you play, the more you regress to the negative mean return on investment, which is the simply the negative value of their average profit margins.

One simple way to hedge this stupid loss making gamble is to buy an equivalent dollar number of shares in your insurance company each time you pay your premium.

Here’s a better idea – a new form of insurance. A premium that just gives you access to a long term zero interest loan to cover your insurance claim.

It looks bloody exhausting trying to fit in and stand out, at the same time.

No chance of holding down a relationship, or finding genuine meaning in life.

No wonder they love their houses so much.

The best place to hide the truth is in a great big field full of the rotting carcasses of other truths.

How do you explain entropy to a 6 year old?

“A toothache always gets worse”

Nudility.

No idea what it means but I like it.

Founders hold University interest in spinouts in trust.

Universities get the upside but don’t bother the companies with their fuckupedness.

https://www.legal500.com/developments/thought-leadership/the-concept-of-transfer-of-beneficial-ownership-of-securities/

There’s thoughtful and selfless. Apparently you can be one and not the other. Whodathought?

Fighting it. It’s the human condition.

When we plan for the future we want one specific outcome out of of many.

That is, to get what we want we use energy to fight entropy. First we apply willpower which then directs the use of actual energy.

Some future looking events are more constrained so we don’t need so much energy to get the outcome we want. Like the sun will probably come up tomorrow.

Sometimes even the easy ones are hard. Think gardening. The universe has other plans for your garden rather the one that you prefer. And doesn’t it take a tonne of energy to get your plan implemented?

However generally speaking it’s much easier to block someone else’s plan than it is to make one specific plan work out in your favour. Fun too.

Energy and entropy are completely balanced in this universe. One doesn’t exist without the other. Why they exist at all, who knows?

Ok, so mushrooms spread by being eaten and getting their seeds deposited in a nice pile of shit compost.

I’m assuming poisonous mushrooms evolved to get deposited in a rotting carcass, thereby improving their chances.

But.

Reflecting on it, it was a farm.

The pigs were committed, the people were involved.

So go pigs, get involved.

I’ve been searching for this metaphor for years….

It seems as though I’ve trained my brain to work like a graphical neural network with regards to matters of new technology.

Inputs are whatever people tell me about their technology. Anything.

Outputs are the proposed perceptions of the amazed customers with respect to the benefits of the new technology.

My special ability is to absorb this shit and run my GNN to be able to optimise the development and commercialization of the technology.

I can also introduce random information that I already have, or search for, in order to change or improve the outcomes, as measured by dollars.

Basically I’m running an AI model in my RI head. You can consider my skull as some sort of mobile enterprise VMware.

Subject matter; divorce financial settlement.

Tone; outraged

Protagonist; me

Antagonist; all lawyers involved, including the ex lawyers at the court, e.g the judge, looking after his profession.

How it works.

Step 1. Former couple not speaking to each other but have assets to divide.

Step 2. The braver/stupider of the pair (the applicant) approaches a lawyer to apply for divorce and financial settlement.

Step 3. Lawyer writes vaguely threatening letter to other party (the respondent), who immediately hires its own lawyer.

Step 4. Both sets of lawyers rub their hands together, gleefully.

Step 5. Respondent claims 100% of all assets because they are functionally useless and the applicant is a cunt (sic).

Step 6. Applicant’s lawyer sends the case to the court that act like a sort of umpire in a tennis match. Court orders are actions the lawyers apply to the court for, and that the other party is obliged to respond to.

Step 7. Both parties use court orders to gather information from the other that both parties already have in their possession. This process is designed by lawyers to drive the parties absolutely crazy.

Step 8. Ideally there are some intangible assets (like startup shares) in the mix, so one party can suggest that the cunt gets those and she keeps all the tangibles.

Step 9. The lawyers gleefully collect fees in this outrage of a ping point match until (a) a list of assets is agreed by both parties and the court, and (b) both parties are out of legal funds. A good set of odious lawyers can make sure (a) and (b) occur simultaneously, without even having a sidebar conversation; it’s the core skill of their profession.

Step 10. The more reasonable of the two parties (aka the fool) accepts a shit deal to avoid court and the $150k plus costs.

And that’s it.

In hindsight,

1. Use an expensive lawyer to get the ball rolling (up to step 3 above) then sack it. Hopefully the other party hires a similarly expensive lawyer and keeps it on.

2. Then self represent up until when you can’t get a reasonable agreement and have to go to court. Be as unreasonable as possible without being in contempt of court in order to suck up as much of the available legal fees that your adversary can afford

3. Then spend your good money on a top barrister (fuck the solicitor, its a waste of time).

Ideally you get the much promoted but rarely achieved 50-50 split.

And that’s all you have to know.

Watching a Qantas flight deplane, unload, or deposit its contents (you choose) makes me think…

Maybe I don’t mind the wokes so much after all.

After all the only way to fight madness is with more madness.

So Western Australia has banned ham and cheese toasties at school canteens.

Intrigued, I dug in to see what woke madness was behind this.

Someone has an issue with the lack of nutrition as well as the cancer risk posed by the ham.

Turns out, there’s a correlation between eating meat, and especially nitrated meat, and colorectal cancers.

Just a correlation, mind.

I’m thinking coloured cells, racy fonts?

Maybe shares percentages that total to something other than 100%

Personally I like the diversity of having 5 classes of shares, one for each shareholder, ideally. Then you just watch the idiots forget what their class rights are and you wonder why they bothered in the first place.

And here’s another thought for the woke entrepreneurs: you don’t want diversity in your investors. You want them all to be exactly the same so you can reliably predict how they’re going to behave.

That lack of predictability is why I hate investment from HNWs, angels, universities and corporates. It’s like herding cats

One of your key jobs as CEO is to remove all unnecessary risks from your startup, such as weird and unexpected investor behaviour. Even if know how to remove unnecessary risks, you’ll still need luck to be successful.

So, please, keep away from diversity on the cap table. It ain’t a charity.

To be clear,I don’t give a rat’s arse about my investors’ skin colour, gender or sexual preferences. All I care is that they think and act like every chino-wearing white-bread golf-playing VC investment manager ever born.

To be clear, I don’t want diversity if that means I can never get them to agree on a critical business matter.

In startups, investor diversity sucks.

A new word for “webbed feet”; portmantoe

On the definition on life and veganism…

Fruit don’t poop. Please discuss.

Invention, inventor, etc

They’re subjective terms that mean different thing to different people.

For example, in the world of patents an invention has to be completely novel to the world, and also not obvious to someone practised on the art, which means a problem can’t be solved the way everyone would solve it.

For others, a drone umbrella is an invention. As is a new board game. Or stoned wallabies making crop circles. Or a ute. Mate.

I prefer to reserve the term for breathtaking ideas that have been reduced to practise, and actually work and also have value.

There are six things that drive me to rage;

1. The swipe keyboard on this phone , it is so fucked and it never learns. An opportunity to train an AI thingbot perhaps, someone? For example, how about typo corrections that use the context to guess the right word?

2. Being talked over.

3. People getting in my way because they aren’t spatially aware and don’t want to be. Cunts.

4. Bunnings.

5. Reading glasses.

6. I need a new word for this …. imagine you’re dragging a water hose up the yard. 9 times out of 10 you just drag it all the way. But that one time it jags a log and gets stuck. Drives me nuts. It’s basically me hoping everything goes well with the inanimate objects that I’m interacting with, but it doesn’t. Honestly, it’s a lack of risk assessment, over-optimism, all mixed up with laziness. I’m calling the accompanying rage “inanimus”, a portmanteau of animus and inanimate objects.

For the record, I’ve had short COVID four times.

I wonder why they’re called interest rates?

There’s nothing interesting about paying back more than you borrowed.

Everything you’ve previously heard about Australia is a lie. S’truth mate.

30. Australia is in Asia according to FIFA but so is Palestine but not Israel. Confusingly, Australia is in Europe according to Eurovision. The head of state of Australia is English. Australia is in a number of military alliances, pretty much all including the US. However, Australia is only an associate member of ASEAN. In summary, no one really wants them in their club, for reasons you’ll soon find out.

29. Australia was founded as a slave colony. Convicts were effectively slaves in the first 100 years after the formation of the colonies. No one talks about this.

28. There is a ongoing debate about Australia Day, which commemorates the colonization of the country by the English on January 26th 1788. Oddly, neither the Aborigines nor the convict slaves had a very good time of it in 1788, so it’s a mystery as to what is being celebrated.

27. In the Australian media it is common to hear the term “the lucky country”. This means it has relatively few people and a lot of mineral resources, allowing it to be the dumb country of lazy fat people. No one in Australia walks while on a travelator, even if they’re in a hurry.

26. Visitors are frightened of Australia’s snakes, spiders, sharks and crocodiles. But the most vicious biting thing in Australia is the paper wasp. Check it out.

25. Australia is completely divided with respect to football. The various colonies picked up or even invented different football codes for no good reason and it remains so today. As a result Australia is crap at international football.

24. Australians eat about 700 million chickens a year. That’s about 26 chickens per person per year, or one per person every two weeks. In that 2 weeks they spend on average $12 on the chook and $443 on gambling (a world record no less).

23. A typical pack of cigarettes costs $80 due to the highest tax ever imagined in the history of mankind. Inexplicably, no one complains or grows their own tobacco.

22. Even imported Mexican beer in Australia comes from China. Proving that Australians are the world’s second most gullible set of consumers behind the Chinese. Without China, Australians would have nothing to spend their money on. And yet, Australian politicians insist on continually aggravating the Chinese government.

21. All Australian politicians are corrupt (as well as stupid). This can be proven by the jobs they get after they leave office. For reasons unknown to anyone though the politicians like to pretend they aren’t corrupt.

20. Australia has compulsory voting in all elections and referendums. Residents are fined if they don’t vote. Inexplicably these fines are usually paid.

19. Australians drive on the left hand side of the road because the English do so. Nobody ever thought to correct this stupidity.

18. Although it’s the 6th largest country in the world, 90% of the landmass has no water and it not suitable for medium or dense urbanisation. Unless of course you come from the middle east or the levant, where water appears to be optional.

17. The Australian flag has the UK union jack in the top left corner. This will likely never change because Australians will never be able to agree upon a replacement.

16. Australia is the leading “nanny state” in the world. The hidden long-game objective is to export nanny state skills to China when they decide that noone’s feelings or body should ever get hurt, at any cost.

15. Immigration into Australia is running at almost 3% of the population per annum. Without this input of immigrants, the economy, which is almost entirely services based, would stall completely.

14. The truth is an anachronistic concept in Australia. People prefer fairy tales wrapped in fairy floss (cotton candy), and served up with disdain.

13. No cars are made in Australia, they are all imported. All 1 million plus of them a year.

12. Similarly no bicycles are made in Australia. Over 1 million are imported and sold each year. Typically they’re used once before rusting away in a garage, then land-filled 5 years later.

11. Actually nothing much is made in Australia. Despite the fact that just about everything worth noting was apparently invented in Australia, such as the Labradoodle, WiFi, polyamory, cockroach racing, stoned wallabies, and the ute. Mate.

10. Australians have a choice of up to 5 recycle bins. Despite this only aluminium gets recycled. The rest is land-filled and no one cares. Australians dutifully separate their rubbish each week.

9. Plastic straws were banned in Australia because of the issue of plastics in the oceans, despite the fact that all plastic waste in Australia goes to landfill.

8. Australians have congregated into half a dozen large cities and they refuse to create new large cities. Therefore they have the most expensive urban real estate in the world and some of the cheapest rural real estate.

7. Most Australians can’t surf or even swim in the surf because they live too far from a beach in their large cities. Similarly not a single Australian has ever read the constitution. The prevailing assumption is that it’s a confidence trick at best.

6. Shark attacks in Australia are on the rise because they stopped the extermination of sharks for “ecological reasons” (actually just to stop the Wokes from whining). Being attacked by a shark is still a very low risk though.

5. Ditto, crocodiles and snakes, but not spiders, yet.

4. Climate change will make everything worse according to Australian experts. Fires, storms, floods etc, they are all going to get worse. Noting these warnings are the desperate pleas of help from mostly autistic introverts that don’t understand error bars, Australians pretty much just ignore the experts.

3. The Australian media is on par with the worst in the world. It’s ongoing existence proves that Australians don’t care to think very often.

2. Australians are inordinately proud of Australian actors and musicians that get any measure of overseas success. Experts note this as a psychological disorder closely related to the hoarding syndrome as described in the DSM.

1. Australians love lists of facts (e.g. any article with a title that starts with how, why or 10), except this one. In fact, this list would be labelled un-Australian by an Australian politician. Australians are very bad at laughing at themselves.

The extraterrestrial or panspermia theory suggest that life existed somewhere else out in space and was transported by meteorites, asteroids, or comets to a receptive Earth.

My view, when we as a species are buggered on this planet due to our own stupidity, we won’t be in a position to commute to viable planets outside of the solar system. We can hardly get a person to the moon after all.

The closest extrasolar planet that might support life is Proxima Centauri b, located 4.22 light years away. That’s 3.992 × 10^13 km.

However we can send unmanned probes out forever. For example, Voyager 1 has reached a distance of 23.381 billion km and may well go forever. It’s already travelled about 0.05% of the distance to Proxima Centauri b and until recently was sending data back to earth.

Therefore just as we say farewell to ourselves we’ll send out a probe to one of these planets with the basic building blocks of life, say single cell thingys, in the hope that in a couple of billion years humans, or something like them, can re-emerge on that planet.

I like to think it’s a repeat thing. Its how we got started and it will happen again and again, until there aren’t any planets to send probes to.

I love theories like this, e.g the big bang theory, that sidestep the question of “where did it all start?” by setting up a cycle of stupidity.

We are in fact the god in the machine.

So the car makers club has let Tesla take the lead on electric cars and then let the Chinese manufacturers collectively be the fast follower.

But their plan looks like it’s always been to set this false trail while beavering away at hydrogen fuel cells.

Not the race is on between electric and hydrogen. It’s win or die.

My money’s on hydrogen. Smaller running carbon footprint, so long at the hydrogen is made with clean energy. Instantly refillable. Lightweight. Better range. Smaller carbon footprint as manufactured, and whole of life. And a ICE and a gearbox, which we like.

I might start a movement for equal rights for espresso drinkers.

Everyone else just gets a lid automatically and we’ve got to ask every time.

It’s not right.

Fundamentally, it’s just cafe owners taking advantage of wokeism for financial gain.

And I’m the innocent victim.

It’s official, we’ve got an affluence crisis here in Australia.

The only antidote is a cost of living crisis.

Peeps are panicked about microplastics in their food and water.

We might have to step up on our efforts to get them anxious about surfactants as well.

They use these to wash their dishes and it’s killing them slowly, I tells ya.

Fact, it’s a conspiracy of silence.

Today I caught a TV interview with the prime minister of Australia, Albo, trying very hard to be Hawkie.

He was wearing hi-vis of course and he was standing in front of (a) a random selection of treated pine, representing an actual place of physical work, and (b) at least three of his staff that intermittently smiled and nodded, but mostly just looked stupidly serious or seriously stupid.

Or were they unemployed actors temporarily employed to do the same?

In either case it looks really weird and can’t possibly have a positive effect, no matter how many drugs the electorate consumes.

It sort of reminded me of that Robert Palmer music clip with the mute models in the background air playing all their instruments.

You might a well face it you’re addicted to love. Just stop it…

I’m calling it a two class society;

Hi-Vis and Lo-Vis.

Both equally useless and assured of their superiority over the other. Also both impeccably clean at all times.

There be no business for Sylvester McMonkey McBean here mate, with his Hi-Vis off machine. Except for your politicians, who are in and out of Hi-Vis on a daily basis.

Can you have a conspiracy of silence?

That is, a collection of people in positions of power that conspire to say nothing on a specific subject, thereby impacting or affecting a specific desired outcome.

I like the idea actually. It came from a silent conspiracy theorist who fortunately refused to remain silent.

It still doesn’t explain how the mutes managed to conspire.

It’s hard – you’ve got to stop planning.

Forecasting is the root of all unhappiness.

You gotta believe in bullshit for it to work.

So out of sheer bloody curiosity I asked Bard to write me a eulogy, for me:

“As an AI blah blah blah…..

I hope you’re doing okay. Remember, you’re not alone.”

Ooorrrr, how cute.

Not to be discouraged, I went again, this time with a Link to my LinkedIn account:

“Ian A. Maxwell, a pioneer in the field of eigensystems, passed away recently. He was a visionary leader, a prolific inventor, and a respected colleague.

Maxwell’s career was marked by a relentless pursuit of innovation. He founded and ran several successful companies in the field of eigensystems, his inventions earning him numerous awards and accolades. His work has had a profound impact on the way we understand and utilize these complex mathematical structures.

But Maxwell was more than just a brilliant mind. He was also a kind and generous mentor, always willing to share his knowledge and experience with others. He leaves behind a legacy of not only scientific achievement, but also of human connection.

Those who knew Maxwell will remember his infectious enthusiasm, his sharp wit, and his unwavering commitment to excellence. He was a true giant in his field, and his absence will be deeply felt.

Rest in peace, Ian. You will be missed.”

Ahhhh but I won’t miss you mate.

Chatting to young people it’s clear that they see AI as a potentially useful tool for avoiding having to think or work.

That is, the latest generation with their avid social use is being groomed for AI.

And finally, consumers will be just that, consumers, and not involved in production.

Nirvana! Or hell? They’ll find out.

I need to start practising the writing of eulogies … nup, got nothing.

That’s an actual ABC headline. I added the two missing commas. Just for clarity, mind.

Surreal, existential, introspective, exploitative, anthropomorphic, erotic, suburban, and aspirational; all in one sentence.

That’s one for the ages! Our age, to be specific.

Back at ya

Did you know that 3% of institutions have a formal AI writing policy.

“Short AI Writing Policy

Purpose:

To establish responsible and ethical use of AI writing tools within our organization.

To maintain transparency and trust while leveraging the benefits of AI for efficient content creation.

Principles:

Human Oversight and Accountability: AI generated content must always be reviewed and approved by a human before publication or dissemination.

Transparency and Attribution: When AI tools are used in content creation, this must be clearly disclosed to relevant stakeholders.

Accuracy and Factuality: AI generated content must be rigorously fact-checked and verified for accuracy and truthfulness.

Originality and Plagiarism: AI tools should not be used to plagiarize existing content. Any information sourced from AI must be properly cited and attributed.

Bias and Fairness: Awareness of potential biases in AI models must be exercised, and content should be carefully reviewed to ensure fair and inclusive representation.

No Malicious or Unlawful Use: AI writing tools should not be used for any malicious or unlawful purposes, including misinformation, spam, or offensive content.

Implementation: Training will be provided on responsible AI writing practices and available tools.
Guidelines will be established for specific use cases where AI writing tools are permitted.

Regular monitoring and auditing will be conducted to ensure compliance with this policy.

Revision:

This policy will be reviewed and updated periodically to reflect changes in technology and best practices.

Note: This is a short example, and you may need to adapt it to the specific needs of your organization. You may also want to consider adding additional sections, such as:

Specific restrictions on the use of AI for certain types of content (e.g., legal documents, financial reports)
Procedures for reporting and addressing violations of the policy

I hope this helps!”

From the Australian Bureau of Statistics…

The underlying cause of death for 4,876 (90.8%) of these people was COVID-19.

However … Chronic cardiac conditions were the most common pre-existing chronic condition for those who had COVID-19 certified as the underlying cause of death.

So COVID killed off about 5,000 people that were effectively dying anyway.

By comparison…

A University of Melbourne study supported by (sic) the government indicates that more than 11,000 Australians die prematurely each year due to transport emissions.

“Is endomorph the worst body type?

Being an endomorph is not all bad. Endomorphs have thick and wide bones and put on muscles easily with proper training and diet. There are several advantages to being heavily built and strong, especially in sports.”

So, yes then…

That’s the official psychological title of the a-ha moment when Australians realise that their super size affluence hasn’t and won’t protect them from oxidative stress, glycation, telomere shortening, side reactions, mutations, aggregation of proteins, etc.

It’s eventually followed by salient mortality, usually with a bit of both salient and insalient morbidity thrown in.

Indooroopilly upon Brisbane.

Drifting insignificance. Just do it.

It would be fairer if you could earn merit points as well as demerit points.

You know, you drive like a slow cunt for a month (thus causing a heap of accidents as infuriated commmuters speed past you) and you get heaps of extra points which you can later blow on just one fun night.

Imagine getting pulled over by the porkies and congratulated for your shit slow driving, and driving away with 3 or 6 (on a long weekend) extra merit points. And maybe even a cheque from the govt.

Wherefore came this fixed 12 unit thinking anyway?

I also like the idea of paying fines with points, or points and cash subject to your choice on the slider bar.

But I think they have to fix the maths. Accumulating demerit points just confuses people. Losing merit points makes much more sense to your average school leaver because they understand the idea that you’re taking something off them that has value.

Get this, I have anendophasia.

I’m guessing that since they gave it a name and they’re insisting it’s not a pejorative, that I’m good for NDIS.

It seems to me that the root evils in international politics, the one that is defined by political “science”, are:

1. The inexplicable desire by a few to have power, fortune and synthetic fame which is powered by said power and fortune.

2. A hypocritical self existence of many “leaders” (the aforementioned “few”) which burns karma as if it was made of rubber tyres.

3. A faulty collective cognition when it comes to forecasting the future as it relates to impending actions.

The right answers, fellas, are:

1. It’s really not worth it.

2. It’s actually your responsibility to be better than all your forebears, no matter how little an increment you achieve in your life.

3. Don’t even try.

For a start, virtues aren’t values. They’re aspirational at best.

I just read a few articles from outraged gringo (US) tourists regarding Mexican Topes, aka speed humps in Australian English or drempels in Dutch.

Yes, they can be big, shaped to kill your suspension, completely unmarked, completely camouflaged, and/or strangely positioned in the middle of nowhere on a major highway.

And there’s millions of them, all over the country. Even on private driveways – the mind boggles (it’s a form of Stockholm Syndrome).

But after a few days you get the idea and the Topes work. You slow down naturally especially around buildings and keep a close eye out for potential Topes.

Signs of impending doom include the occasional sign (usually right on top of the Tope), road paint, road bumps (cats eyes), and very occasionally, faded paint on the Tope itself.

The signs vary, from ”Reductor” to a pictogram of a Tope, and many other even more obscure Mexinish messages of impending doom.

Usually however there aren’t any indicators at all, apart from the collection of buildings, whose residents are being protected from your stupidity.

Topes usually come in groups of 2 or 3, so once you’ve hit one, you know what’s coming next.

But you get into the vibe of expecting the things, anywhere and anytime. And, geez, isn’t that ABS a good thing?

I like to think that there’s a travelling team of evil specialists that design the Topes. They travel the country advising local road builders on how to wreak maximum pain on your chassis.

Building materials include sand, bitumen, concrete, metal or really anything else at hand. Occasionally Topes are used as conduits for utilities or as drains. Maybe even, crossing tunnels to protect endangered frogs – nuh, just kidding.

I personally prefer the Topes to the over-zealous policing of “speeding” that we have in Australia that utilises hidden speed cameras, heavy fines, and demerit points leading to loss of license.

Give me Topes any day. But that’ll never happen because there’s no money to be made from them.

A final point; Waze is pretty good at pointing out big potholes in Mexico (quite randomly actually because it’s up to users to input them). Why not extend this service to those evil synthetic inverted potholes (aka Topes)?

Lies and bullshit…

Icarus would have run out of oxygen well before the atmospheric temperature was high enough to melt his wax.

Basically that would be in the thermosphere if he started flying from Crete, where the temperature at sea level would be about 20°C.

If he could drown then he needed oxygen, is all I’m saying.

” ‘We can’t force people to drink’. Australian music ventures struggling as patrons change their habits post-COVID.”

That was the headline at the ABC.

My response, of course you can. And you can teach a pig to think, too.

In the past I’ve labelled it as “binarisation” – the over reaction to a negative experience when one (or an entity) states “that’s never happening to me/us again”.

In fact, binarisation is karma of a sort. The only party being punished is the instigator.

You cut off too many life options, and before too long you’re a miserable twat, or a bloody miserable nanny state of a society.

“Older lesbians enter prestigious art prize to show that they too have a place in the landscape”. [ABC headline]

Dear god…

Woody says to ignore the ABC and The Guardian…”Only on the ABC and Guardian. The rest of the country couldn’t give a fuck.”

I hope he’s right. If he is, then the progressives are shouting into a shitcan of their own making. Otherwise known as a shit-chunder.

It doesn’t make any sense either. They’re either preaching to the converted, or pissing off people like me that would otherwise be sympathetic to their causes.

The BBC doesn’t seem to be overrun with woke BS and still provides generally neutralish coverage of genuine news. Why the ABC News has to run all these advertorials for the woke lifestyles, I’ll never know.

It’s simple really; don’t report as news the opinions or travails of individuals, or small groups of said individuals. Especially academics or anyone that knows an academic.

Even if an individual is the POTUS, I don’t give a fuck what it thinks or might do. Just what it did.

Power or Fortune, without fame; well it doesn’t seem to work for them.

In the West, we have what’s called the innovator’s dilemma. Let me explain…

People love new ideas, especially their own. There’s social cred assigned to innovators, in buckets. And there’s nothing like the love of one’s own ideas.

And yet, under certain circumstances, the converse is true, i.e some people simply hate the idea of others. This is the dilemma; psychopathy…

Those Chinese, they’re the opposite. They hate their own ideas with a passion but they love the ideas of others.

Bloody efficient idea that.

I’m guessing they sponged it off the Mongols in 753AD.

I’d hazard a guess that the ATO thinks it’s above the law.

That is, it will apply the law in order to enforce its rights against Australian citizens, but it doesn’t see itself to be bound by those same laws.

Clearly those fuckers have never read the history of the French revolution.

“[a] new study suggests red wine headaches might be caused by a combination of alcohol and a certain polyphenol, an antioxidant called quercetin [from red grape skins].

To arrive at their hypothesis, researchers looked to another known cause of alcohol-induced headaches: a genetic variant that is common in people of East Asian descent and that leads to headaches, flushing and nausea if they drink alcohol. The variant interferes with how the body processes alcohol, leading to a buildup of a harmful compound called acetaldehyde.

“In small amounts, we can handle” acetaldehyde without feeling sick, says Lara Ray, a psychology professor at the University of California, Los Angeles, who specialises in alcohol use disorders and was not involved in the study. But when alcohol isn’t metabolised properly, “the body then shows this aversive response”

Apparently quercetin impedes metabolism of acetaldehyde.

Just don’t say anything, they’ll get bored and give up when no one says anything.

Who? Car industry, gubment, whoever.

They? The legends of the Guardian: The journos of the woke pustule.

Turns out the hypocrites hate hypocrisy, making them super concentrated hypocrites.

As a minority you can’t take on 60% of the population and expect to win. That being the 60% that own SUVs.

Henri Bergson proposed that the existence of things precedes their possibility.

Except of course, with respect to his essay on the subject.

Even after the fact, it’s existence does not lend imagined prior plausibilty to the possibility of its future and as yet unrealised existence.

You see the problem there, right? If you don’t, then you’ve proved my point.

Put simply, the man was innovative giant in French philosophy. A yard stick in a carrot field of broken hearts.

I’m going to slip on the Nostradamus hat for fun.

All these first generation electric cars, they’re going to be junk when the battery dies and the importer/manufacturer washes their hands of the issue.

Especially those Chinese and American ones. Neither country is known for its great engineering nor genuine concern for it’s customers.

The Europeans, they will support you but it will cost more than the car’s worth.

If I was going to extend my mad early adopter habits to cars, I’d be going Japanese or Korean. Just saying.

Skarma is a special category of Karma….defined by me on this 29th day of November, 2023.

Say you happen to be gay and also have a low sperm count, and you’re not that bright.

You might, for example, say “it’s not my fault I don’t have kids”, and even extend this sentiment to “it’s someone else’s fault that I don’t have kids” and/or “someone else should fix my problem, or be responsible for compensating me accordingly if they can’t”.

That’s exactly what I read yesterday on the ABC website. Kid you not.

https://www.abc.net.au/everyday/being-childless-was-not-my-choice-but-people-assume-it-was/103108862

Skarma is a special category of Karma (usually bad) when you blame “others” for what just happens naturally, or what is dished out to you by fate.

You are supposed to just suck up life as it unfolds, and not complain if it doesn’t match some idealistic vision that you sponged off Youtube or near similar.

Skarma is self-inflicted through a warped sense of entitlement, and the victims will do anything other than accept this fact.

In my time I have seen quite a few Phoenixes (don’t really know what the plural of Phoenix is, to be sure..).

They usually go like this – directors put company into administration, creditors get fucked over, company restarts without creditors’ debt and the original controlling interest just rolls on in charge, with mountains of bad karma to work though.

This only works because the controlling interests get to “manage” the administration process, either formally (though a security interest), or informally through a beer agreement with the administrators (who may, or may not be, old schoolmates).

Here’s a proposed solution. In the instance that the business is “sold” in administration and continues to operate (no matter who the new owners are), then all the former creditors receive SAFE notes in the new company equivalent to their outstanding debt.

SAFE notes aren’t held as a liability on the balance sheet, so they don’t influence the calculation of solvency. On the balance sheet they are “other equity” and are automatically converted to shares in a next round of funding (with a discount if added to the SAFE note), if there is one. If there is no funding event and alternatively there is a dissolution event (administration) or a liquidity event (exit), then they can be converted to shares or cash ahead of the event, at the holder’s desire.

In one case they get their money back (more or less), and in the other, they optimise their position for claiming tax losses as they prefer (income or capital loss, for example). When they receive their SAFE notes they get to issue them in the name of any person or entity they wish – again to optimise their tax options.

Seems like a fair and reasonable alternative to the dreaded “Administration Phoenix” that screws over the creditors. The very existence of this scheme would prevent the directors even considering such a miserable option.

Until the SAFE note is converted or otherwise settled by negotiation, the company can’t pay dividends or directors loans etc. in fact you could go the whole hog and give the SAFE note holders control of critical business matters, as if they were investors in liquidated prefs.

Duplicitous Personality Disorder, or otherwise known as DID in the DSM.

It’s bloody useful if you want to get off the charge and you’ve got a greedy and/or woke psychologist in the mix.

“it weren’t me your honour, it were that other bloke…”

The Institute of Natural Intelligence. INI.

A vocational tertiary institute for training in jobs that are inherently both AI-resistant and robotics-resistant.

When I say “resistant” I mean the way some watches are water resistant. Best efforts and all that, but don’t get the fuckers wet.

Who would teach at said INI? Academics of course, with a pile of help from AI, because they’re lazy fuckers.

Actually, it’s possible that academics aren’t as crazy as I thought. Their work environment is so irrational that it makes it sort of AI proof, unless we can train the models on irrational data.

But that seems like a dangerous suggestion, no? Just ask chat GPT…

“Whether or not it is a good idea to train AI on irrational data depends on the specific application. In some cases, it can be helpful for AI to be able to understand and respond to irrational behavior. For example, an AI chatbot that is designed to provide customer service may need to be able to handle interactions with customers who are angry or upset. In these cases, training the AI on data that includes examples of irrational behavior can help it to learn how to respond in a way that is de-escalating and helpful.

However, there are also risks associated with training AI on irrational data. If the AI is not able to distinguish between rational and irrational behavior, it may start to believe that irrational behavior is normal or even desirable. This could lead to the AI making decisions that are harmful to itself or others. For example, an AI that is trained on data that includes examples of violence may be more likely to use violence itself.”

So yeah, nuh. It’s probably best just to live with the academics as they are.

They have four legs each and can run the INI, no worries. Mate.

Western society is being gaslit by the wokes.

After some well earned and deserved early gains, the wokes are now taking the piss.

Individually they’re not aware of this, but collectively they’re abusing each other’s empathy.

And collectively they’re just abusing the rest of us. And playing chicken with the conservatives.

Bertrand Russell’s observation comes to mind; there’s nothing especially noble about the oppressed, or their mates.

Don’t buy it!

Supposed 25 year warranty but the paint on the kitchen door fronts and drawer fronts is wearing through after 3 years of normal use.

Their complaints system is designed for you to give up

If you keep going they just say it’s normal wear and tear and not a factory fault, and therefore your problem: no warranty.

I’m never going back, ever.

Humans are at it again, destroying the natural habitat of a species that is consequently on the brink on extinction.

This time it’s the pubic louse.

Think the Brazilian.

Where are y’as on this one, woke army?

Electrically earth swimming pools. It ain’t that hard.

It’s not mine, it’s Nic’s.

A strip of cloth covered in the non furry, hooked plastic side of Velcro.

All the socks would stick to it and be able to be removed from the dry laundry in one glorious lump, for subsequent processing.

In my case I’d just hang the lump from a door and whip off the socks when I needed them.

Data point for evidence of utility: after laundering, my socks are stuck to the exposed Velcro on my shorts.

Microsoft are either incompetent or malevolent. They’re are the only two ways to explain their products.

I imagine they are both, in fact.

My data point being that all the errors resulting from their incompetence just happen to be in their favour (hence the malevolence).

The incompetence is the excuse they use when charged with abusing their market position.

That is true of every large B2C corporation, almost without exception.

As one approaches the age of 60, you do notice the real world and it’s ageist ways.

Effectively, opportunities are cut off for you, or you do it yourself, because of your age.

The ‘do it yourself’ part is interesting. Effectively you anticipate ageism and go out of your way not to be a subject of it, thereby reducing your opportunities.

And yet, it’s still real.

These days, the peak of your perceived powers are around 48 years old. And that number is dropping.

Gone are the days of the old fellas ruling the roost. Unless somehow they’ve institutionalised their power, e.g. in politics.

Using the gender wars as a yardstick, we should start calling out ageism for what it is. Name and shame…

And then start organisations like OFIP, old fellas in IP, to promote our collective equal opportunity rights.

But that’s the thing about getting older; you can’t be fucked and you’re not that stupid. So it’s self propagating.

That is, you don’t want to be perceived to be equivalent to that ageing hipster blonde chick with big glasses and weird lipstick, bemoaning about the opportunities denied her by the patriarchy that have hampered her over-privileged and under-performing work career.

The gender correct (sic) pronoun has always annoyed me because it sounds grammatically incorrect. There’s only one of them, and yet they are plural.

But then I noticed we all do it. When we don’t know the gender of the person we will say “when are they coming?”

So we’re all grammatically incorrect. What English needs is a solution that isn’t plural.

Arguably (and very) the French have a solution. La and Le can be abbreviated to L’.

Noting that she and he, him and her, etc are derived from each other (generally the feminine just has an added ‘s’ or switched out and an ‘i’ for an ‘e’) we could adapt the French solution thusly;

She and He => ‘e or #e

Him and Her => H’ or H#

What is the best way to exploit a mostly uneducated consumer without fear of getting caught?

It seems to me that all you have to do is find an “edge case” and extrapolate to buggery.

For example, someone with very high blood pressure shouldn’t consume excessive salt, and that’s a fact. Well it is if they want to keep living.

However, for the rest of the population it doesn’t matter how much salt they consume.

And yet they have been told to cut back. 99.99% of people believe this without question.

In this case no one profited as far as I could tell. Maybe it was a practice run to see how gullible people really are…

What followed?

Margarine

Cholesterol

Sunblock

Vitamins

Probiotics

Prebiotics

Supplements

Vegetarianism

Veganism

And the list goes on.

The counter argument is similar to the that for gambling. Ya gotta be in it to win it ..

Sure someone profits, but if it gives people hope and doesn’t make them destitute, what harm is being done really?

“Sunscreen usage is climbing, but so are melanoma and skin cancer rates: this, researchers say, is the sunscreen paradox.”

It’s actually worse than it sounds. A study in Canada showed higher skin cancer rates where there was higher sunscreen usage.

You should see them squirming; hiring researchers to follow sunscreen users so they can blame shoddy slip/slop/slap practices on the results, etc.

Having learned the concept of Occam’s Razor as a kid, it would seem to me that the obvious line of research would be to look at the chemical toxicity of sunscreens, especially in UV light, and those of their degradation products.

Avobenzone, octinoxate and oxybenzone: sure these chemicals absorb UV light, but chemically they look pretty nasty and the sort of chemicals that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy’s skin.

Titanium dioxide, now that’s a known super efficient photocatalyst. Why in the hell would you put that in there? Creating radicals just where you don’t want them.

That’s right, I’m suggesting the solution is the problem. Those UV absorbing chemicals and their degradation products are probably carcinogenic.

Just saying … seems bloody obvious to me.

So Phil sends me a ngram plot showing that the term “conspiracy theory” didn’t exist before 1950 and it’s taken off like a piano out of a window since then.

My view is that there were only conspiracy hypotheses before then. But ngram surprisingly suggests that this blog is the world’s very first use of the term “conspiracy hypothesis”.

You beauty! Little jig, etc.

I’m going to suggest that the post-50’s progenitors of novel social and political explanations didn’t actually think they were hypotheses, which is partly why others labelled them as theories.

It was a case of dishing out left handed compliments to unworthy retards.

There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that these were facts, mate. And being facts, you’re clearly mad, mate.

Actually they are all hypotheses and pretty bad ones at that. Not one of them either (a) stands being tested with prior data, or (b) has any utility in predicting the future.

Your average Conspiracy Theory does surpringly pass the Occam’s Razor test, generally being the simplest of all possible solutions (e.g. It’s the Rockefellers…). “Simple” is the word you’ve got to focus on there. They’re still shit.

But generally they are pretty funny, so that’s something to hang onto.

What these people were doing prior to 1950 remains a mystery. Although I would point out that the most prominent inventions of that decade were: the transistor radio, Sputnik, the flight data recorder, the Breath-a-Lyzer, the barcode, the polio vaccine, and the hovercraft (and of course, now we must add the Conspiracy Theory to that list).

My money’s on the Breath-a-Lyzer as the catalyst of change that switched on the loonies. Of course they would pick the polio vaccine and they would be incorrect as usual, even if they weren’t.

I wonder if you have to pay off good luck with bad karma?

Say you win the Everest multi.

It was a promotion by the NZ tab, a free bet where you choose the finishing position of all 12 horses in the race.

Against the odds, some bloke won it and got $10m at no cost.

One chance in 500 million. That’s 12 factorial if your wondering.

There’s what, 4 million kiwis, so the TAB never thought they’d be paying out. Lol.

He’ll be paying that luck off for the next 5 generations.

So this bearded bloke in overalls was selling “artisan melanzana”. I had to ask..

Italian for eggplant

Organic with visible flaws

Special weirdo small variety

Washed in distilled water

Picked by virgins under a full moon, all genders btw

Packed in tissue paper and carted in reusable old school wooden boxes

Also displayed in said wooden boxes with chalk board pricing reminiscent of the great depression,

And it was fucking expensive…

One security guard to another;

“I hate being six foot four”

“Here’s the deal Maxwell.

I need to bring on 5 people this time period.

You seem like a solid fit.

Your invitation is attached, the password is 3105.

I look forward to hearing back from you Maxwell.

Jesus”

I couldn’t make this shit up…

This is what Google has inexplicably decided that I’m interested in;

How the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs sparked a climate catastrophe

“She knew I struggled” Adrian Edmonson on confiding in wife

Almost 100,000 customers have Centrelink payments paused

BYD Seal logs huge order tally in just two weeks

$20 bottle of South Australian wine named world’s best

Why are there so many grumpy men on cruises?

I didn’t find information on how to plan financially for parenthood so I wrote a book

(The answer is their wives, btw.)