If treating others as objects that are there just for our needs is the definition of narcissism, then we are all born as complete narcissists.

We must unlearn these traits as we socialise.

Many of us do this imperfectly and retain little pockets of narcissism that forever come back to haunt us.

“Sirrahh, as a form of address aimed at inferiors, is fairly frequent in Shakespeare’s plays and those of the seventeenth century, but its etymology has, surprisingly, never been convincingly identified. To date, the only explanation available is that sirrah was a composition of sir and the interjection ah or ha. This hypothesis, often uncritically quoted, even by the Oxford English Dictionary (OED), goes back to John Minsheu, a lexicographer of the early seventeenth century. But this paper tries to show that Minsheu’s opinion, based on word formation, is far-fetched and that sirrah is merely a phonetic variant of sir. Both words have the same Old French etymological origin, namely sire. Sirrah is, in fact, an ironical and mimicking pronunciation of sire. Sir, for its part, though generally an honourable title, was also not entirely free of derogatory connotations in Late Middle and Early Modern English. The evidence for the close proximity of sir and sirrah will be taken from historical English phonology, semantics, pragmatics and sociolinguistics. The retrieval of the key data is based on Open Source Shakespeare and, for Late Middle English, on both the Middle English Dictionary and the OED, as well as the Innsbruck Middle English Prose Corpus.”

I find this fascinating. Absent what we would call any genuine wealth, the middle agers focused on relative wealth. They even had language to define a person’s relative social status.

When the chips are down, my theory is that humans only care about their relative wealth. To feel superior to others is more important than having machines that do all the work for you.

Which is why servants and slaves are so important to the greedy.

I’ve just finished watching Gypsy, the TV series.

Basic message; the pyscopathic pyschotherapist in the show was trying to control others so as to control herself, to find herself. Basically she was controlled and bullied by her parents when young, and went off the rails. She spent her life controlling others.

I wonder if my sexual activities aren’t a little the same. A reaction to years of bullying when I was young. I have some traits; wanting the women to believe the fantasy that I love them, using my guile to create this desire, ignoring the anxiety that such playacting engenders in my life, and continuing to go back to past conquests when needed.

One more little learning.

Eventually I’ll use this brain to sort this fucking soul out. I’m pretty sure there’s no use trying the spiritual bypass approach.

My Nic. She’s like me. Two kindred spirits.

I’ll have to assume she’ll revert and play some game on the side at some stage. Addicts can’t help it. I won’t judge her, just love her as I do now.

She’s so brave and strong. That should give me courage. I love that woman.