Gypsy

I’ve just finished watching Gypsy, the TV series.

Basic message; the pyscopathic pyschotherapist in the show was trying to control others so as to control herself, to find herself. Basically she was controlled and bullied by her parents when young, and went off the rails. She spent her life controlling others.

I wonder if my sexual activities aren’t a little the same. A reaction to years of bullying when I was young. I have some traits; wanting the women to believe the fantasy that I love them, using my guile to create this desire, ignoring the anxiety that such playacting engenders in my life, and continuing to go back to past conquests when needed.

One more little learning.

Eventually I’ll use this brain to sort this fucking soul out. I’m pretty sure there’s no use trying the spiritual bypass approach.

My Nic. She’s like me. Two kindred spirits.

I’ll have to assume she’ll revert and play some game on the side at some stage. Addicts can’t help it. I won’t judge her, just love her as I do now.

She’s so brave and strong. That should give me courage. I love that woman.