mxx1's avatar

Sex

Hippo-thesis … its a party trick designed to get us to reproduce with the best available mix of genes

I see 3 core and competing elements of how the amagdyla enforces its will on the hypothalamus and deactivates the prefrontal cortex :

  1. NRE – new relationship energy or the “Coolidge Effect”, that drive for genetic novelty that would maximize offspring diversity This interest in sex follows a power curve. Exponential decay over time.
  2. Techncial competency and engagement – drives physical and emotional joy from the act. The brain rewards us for getting good at intimate connection, which would strengthen pair bonds during the vulnerable child-rearing years.
  3. Spiritual attachment – it wasn’t intended, its an emergent property (a bug, if you will), not a design feature. Like consciousness itself, maybe deep pair bonding just “fell out” of having such complex neural networks, even though it wasn’t directly selected for.

So the amygdala is essentially running this three-way tug of war: “seek novelty” vs “bond deeply with this partner” vs this unexpected “transcendent connection” that wasn’t even supposed to exist.

How do these three compete in real time? Badly is the answer. Small differences in each pushes the equation one way or the other.

It’s not some elegant switching system, but more like three different programs constantly fighting for control, and tiny shifts tip the whole thing.

Like someone’s NRE is waning just as their technical competency peaks, but then some random Tuesday their partner says something that triggers unexpected spiritual attachment, and suddenly the whole equation flips.

This would explain why relationships feel so unpredictable – why someone can be perfectly content one day and then meet a stranger and feel that NRE surge override everything else. Or why a couple can have great technical compatibility but one small change in routine or brain chemistry suddenly makes the spiritual attachment disappear.

It’s like having three different operating systems trying to run the same computer simultaneously. The amygdala isn’t some wise conductor orchestrating this – it’s just amplifying whichever signal happens to be strongest in that moment, regardless of what makes rational sense.

No wonder the prefrontal cortex gets deactivated – it would go insane trying to make rational sense of this chaotic three-way competition.