Innovation of the Other Day

I have defined the problem, O Lord, but the solution has evaded me.

Coconut oil.

It just happens to have these properties that make it the best personal lube (yes I did say that) known to mankind, as compared to the synthetic water soluble polymers that are usually pedalled for the purpose.

Namely, coconut oil:

1. Does not ‘dry out’ with excessive friction
2. Can be genuinely eaten without disgust
3. Introduces a coefficient of friction that is ‘just right’
4. Is a non-allergen
5. Is cheap and sold as a cooking oil at your local supermarket

Have you ever thought about the term ‘personal lubricants’? I guess they can be quite personal but most people are happier when they are shared. Maybe we should re-name them as ‘social lubricants’.

Moving on; there is one problem when it comes to coconut oil in this context and that is ‘application’.

The stuff comes in peanut butter jars (or jam jars, you get the idea) and is variably a solid or a liquid, depending on the temperature (it melts and solidifies around 25 degrees centigrade).

This is the cause of many issues that I suspect are holding back the uptake of this miracle product:

1. Coconut oil can be unexpectedly liquid in the dark, leading to unwanted and messy spills
2. Coconut oil can be solidified and beyond reach (at the bottom of the jar); bad in an emergency
3. It’s not exactly a portable packaging solution that one could, say, slip into one’s purse.

That’s about it really, but it’s enough.

What is needed, therefore, is an ‘applicator’ for coconut oil as a social lubricant.

Here’s  the embarrassing part of this blog entry; I started working on a solution, as I always do, by parking the problem in my brain and letting it ferment away.

After much time and day dreaming, the best I could come up with was to make an emulsion of the stuff with, in addition to all the surfactants, a water soluble polymer in the water phase to prevent the emulsion from breaking when the oil phase solidified. This would have the effect of keeping the mixture at a constant viscosity no matter what the temperature, and as such a normal applicator for viscous liquids could be used.

Even I felt ashamed at this Frankenstein of a solution. Imagine spoiling the lean and green nature of coconut oil? I felt as though I had passed over onto the evil side where food technologists do all their dark deeds.

And then, the true solution came from an hitherto unexpected source(s).

Felipe suggested using a screw applicator (like the ones used to apply lip gloss paste) to push the paste through.

And NicNac suggested a underarm deodorant style ball applicator to limit & control the passage of both the liquid or the paste onto the sociable and personable body bits.

Combined these two suggestions provide for a magically suitable coconut oil applicator, for both the solid and liquid form.

The paste would liquefy with the friction of the ball applicator, just FYI. And the paste could be forced in the ball applicator with the screw mechanism.

In liquid form you wouldn’t need the screw mechanism, but it won’t do any harm either. It would of course have to be made free of liquid leakage.

Query the ball applicator issues with pubic hair? Mostly this is becoming a non-issue in these nude days anyways.

In summary, this is a sure-fire winner of a new product, free of charge to anyone that could be arsed.