Jackhammers and Hummingbirds

[Scene] Uber. Failing any obvious presence of mobile simpatico, my chauffeur says he’ll dial up some music on the radio…

What we actually got what was one song and a dribble of hysterical conversation.

Three morons, one female and two blokes, straining to be funny, and failing.

They spent a good ten minutes on the subject of jackhammers and hummingbirds, the latest ‘insight’ from the woman that wrote “eat, pray, love”.

Oddly, in the sound-clip she sounded just like Julia Roberts, but even more annoyingly inane.

A quick precis of her latest work product would have it that 4 billion of the people on this planet are jackhammers. They focus on their passions and hammer away for life.

The other 4 billion hummingbirds flit from concept to concept, trying things out and then moving on. These lightweights do, however, help cross-pollinate the world with whatever the fuck she’s talking about.

The three morons spent five minutes arguing as to which they each were.

I said to the Uber driver that the jackhammery philosopher du jour has over simplified things; people can actually be categorized into three types, not two.

Shocked, he asked me what the third category was.

“Cats, mate. We eat hummingbirds and avoid jackhammers.”