Walk the Talk

Imagine that your non-homosexual partner is having a relationship with a third party. 

The key questions that you should ponder are:

1. Is your partner’s new friend your sex or the other?

2. If it is yours, is the relationship sexual or otherwise?

Let me explain where I am going with this…

Is it rational to have absolutely no jealousy if your wife has a non-sexual but deep relationship with a girlfriend, but then to get super jealous if she has a similar type of friendship with a male?

Not for me, it isn’t.

Is it reasonable to be not at all jealous if she has deep friendship with a male friend but then to get deeply jealous if they also put body parts into each other?

Makes no sense…

What happens if  you reasonably decide that there is no issue with her and her male friend not only having a deep relationship, but also deciding that it is OK if they fuck? Might you not eventually lose your spouse to the friend?

Possibly, but preventing something that should happen from happening isn’t a formula for happiness me-thinks.

In love and relationships the best approach is to enjoy what you have while you have it. But also, be prepared to lose it, and when you do, you can wallow in the pain of loss which will of course pass, as all feelings do.

Once you’ve been through these hoops a few times you probably won’t fear anything and coincidentally your relationships will be that much better for the lack of fear.

This is an example of using rational thinking, call it philosophy if you will, to breakdown an intuitive response that might otherwise lead you astray.

But even so, you have to keep practicing. We can’t just adopt new positions with a one-off declaration of will, derived with a flourish of logic.