Craft Rotary Blur

​Why this morning, of all mornings?

I have what could only be labelled as a craft beer hangover. The poor bloody English; they think ale is normal when in fact it’s completely avoidable.

Back to the narrative; I was just woken by an adherent of the Japanese high rpm rotary engine fucking movement. In the room next door, or upstairs; I couldn’t tell.

Starting at 4,000 RPM, he finished about ten minutes later at 10,000 RPM, complete with a high pitched crow call (faaaaaaarrrrk).

Ok, so I’m awake. No way to reverse that unavoidable fact. A shower, that’ll fix it.

Problem number two. I can’t find the reading glasses and things are blurrier than usual, due to the craft fucking ale.

But I can discern that the English still can’t do bathrooms. It’s a cargo cult; they know what they should look like, probably from magazines, but they have no idea how they should function.

How does one explain constant water temperature to a moron? Or that the toilet buttons shouldn’t need an instruction manual. That drains in shower baths should be able to cope with a standard shower pressure and not allow the bath to fill up. Or that clingy shower curtains aren’t appreciated by anyone.

Back to the primary problem. This one is universal. The smallest writing on the little bottles is of course the description of the contents. Who wears their reading glasses in the shower? Yeah, right.

Have you ever heard of shampooing conditioner? Me neither.

Two Panadol and back to bed. I’ll pretend it didn’t happen and that it doesn’t exist.