A New Word for a Modern Affliction

English finally has a word for it: “phallocephaloscoposcalofractoosteobrachioamputology”.

At 51 letters it displaces pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (45 letters) as the longest word in English. Unlike that cynical coinage – invented purely to win a longest-word competition – this one describes something real and increasingly common.

It means: the study of arm amputations resulting from staircase falls caused by phone-distracted dickheads.

Every component is legitimate Greek or Latin: phallo (penis, here euphemistic for dickhead), cephalo (head), scopo (viewing/watching), scala (stairs), fracto (break), osteo (bone), brachio (arm), amputo (cut off), logy (study of).

The word is ugly, unwieldy, and approximately as dangerous to pronounce as the behaviour it describes. Which feels appropriate.