My karma

I believe karma is real and operates in categories. The consequences of past behaviour tend to arise in the same category, even when there is no direct observable causal connection between the original actions and their eventual consequences. Classical Indian philosophy recognises that karmic consequences may emerge long after the originating actions and distinguishes accumulated karma from karma already bearing fruit [1].

I generated considerable bad karma through my pursuit of truth and entertainment. These were the things I valued most, but the way I pursued them created debts that I believe I am still paying. Nietzsche explored the potentially destructive consequences of pursuing truth at any price, while also recognising that the value of a life cannot be reduced to happiness or the avoidance of suffering [2, 3].

I do not consider myself particularly unlucky. Much of my suffering is attributable to how I chose to live. Rather than continuing those pursuits, I have deliberately let them go. I have withdrawn from much of what previously occupied my life. Indian philosophical traditions recognise the possibility of ceasing to accumulate new karma while existing karma continues to produce consequences [1, 4].

I do not expect a golden era, compensation or reward. My remaining ambition is simply to live long enough to exhaust my karmic debts before I die. The Hindu concept of prārabdha karma describes consequences already in progress that must be experienced, rather than avoided, while sañcita karma refers to accumulated consequences not yet realised [1].

There is no way to measure the outstanding balance or know when it has been settled, so there is little point trying.

I recognise that this is a belief rather than something I can demonstrate. But it is preferable to believing that suffering is merely random misfortune without purpose, limit or resolution. Rather than externalising responsibility for my own failings by resenting or punishing others, I choose to accept the consequences myself through this retarded belief in karma that therefore serves two purposes: it gives suffering an explanation and provides a reason not to inflict further suffering on others.

To explain – this morning I behaved badly and then got cross with myself for the consequences. Then, to explain my weirdness, I got cross at someone else for gaslighting me and driving me mad. Then I decided I don’t know for sure if they are gaslighting me and that that suspicion says more about me than it does them. And then I tracked back that feeling all the way to my own original gaslighting of my first wife.

This stupid thing is a self-imposed ethical constraint, independently of whether karma actually exists, which of course it can’t unless its all in your own mind. Which it might be.

[1] Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Naturalism in Classical Indian Philosophy, Section 4, “Moral Naturalism: Karma and Adṛṣṭa.” https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/naturalism-india/

[2] Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Friedrich Nietzsche, Section 3.2.3, “Truthfulness/Honesty.” https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/nietzsche/

[3] Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Nietzsche’s Moral and Political Philosophy. https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/nietzsche-moral-political/

[4] Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Personhood in Classical Indian Philosophy. https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/personhood-india/