Harem Logic

With respect to the logic of taking vitamins, most people carry the fuzzy folk version not the Enlightenment lab version. The first is intuitive, the second is accurate, and in daily life the first usually wins.

The folk model goes like this: vitamins are little boosts. Vitamin C wards off colds. B-vitamins give you energy. Antioxidants clean you out. It is a simple story, requiring no measurement, and it’s easy to sell. The body is treated as a container that needs topping up, or as a clogged pipe that needs flushing.

The mechanistic model is less idiot friendly. Vitamins are co-factors in enzyme reactions. They act as agents that allow proteins to function. Vitamin C is needed to hydroxylate collagen; if you don’t have it, you get scurvy. Vitamin D regulates calcium absorption; without it, bones soften. B1, B3, B6 are parts of metabolic enzymes; without them, you get beriberi, pellagra and seizures. However, once the deficiency is corrected, taking more does absolutely nothing. If you don’t have the deficiency you are wasting your time and money.

Between those two models lies the gap where advertising feeds the bullshit. People prefer boost immunity because they don’t want to hear prevents scurvy. In fact, since they usually don’t have scurvy, that wouldn’t work.

In pre-Enlightenment imperial courts, eunuchs were employed precisely because they could not father children, a fact confirmed by centuries of observation. Yet at the slightest hint of sexual contact with their wards, they were executed to remove any doubt about royal lineage.

Today people swallow megadoses of vitamin C to fight colds, despite trial after trial showing no benefit.

In both cases, certainty is available but not wanted. A simple, fuzzy story is preferred, no matter what the cost.