Nic

There’s a key difference between Nicola and Joanne.

Joanne was loyal to a fault, and mad as a hatter. Nicola’s love and devotion has a great big (sane) asterix against it that she doesn’t even know exists. Basically my role here is subject to my ongoing good humour and good behaviour.

Any prolonged period of depression or poor humour on my part and she’s out. For sure.

It’s probably better this way than the other. Mainly because the other comes with all sorts of other issues that aren’t worth the pain. Also the asterix keeps me on my toes; I don’t like that but it’s probably for the better.

The odd part of this arrangement is that she doesn’t have to live with an asterix on my part, so it’s one sided.

This only works because of her basic good humour and disposition. On the other hand I struggle with the same at times. So it works. Although I do find it tiring because in essence I can never relax.

And she lets me know too. She keeps reminding me that I’m provisional. This is the very last time I’m exposing myself like this.