You

When a spouse complains “that you’re never around” or “you travel half the time”, what does it mean?

Firstly, that you travel at least a day a fortnight. Second, that you don’t feel the need to apologise for this. Third, you probably look forward to the time not being nagged at. Fourth, you’re hitched to a mad person that you should leave immediately.

After all, what’s the point of complaining that someone is never around if you then go and be a cunt to them when they are around? Therein lies the tip of the madness iceberg.