Batty

Some scientists have deconvoluted bat squawks and discovered that they are arguing most of the time (I could have told them that; I have the fuckers out in the backyard).

In the bat world there are apparently just four different bones of contention: sleep, food, perching position and unwanted mating attempts.

Not too different from us then!

They argue all night sometimes, the bats do. No wonder sleep is an issue. They must be grumpy buggers, trying to sleep with all that noise at close range. 

With no natural predators (in Australia at least) the smart bat would find an unfashionable shrub to sleep in, alone. Thus removing sleep and perching position from the equation.

That would leave the smart bat far more rested for unwanted mating attempts and food poaching.

T’were I a scientist of the bat kind, I’d do an experiment in bat socio-engineering. I’d train a few super bats in the new ways, using CBT or old school Pavlovian behavioral therapy.

Surely my super bats would thrive, take over with a Darwinian flourish, and we’d all get some sleep.