Plea

Wallabies, wallabies, wallabies … see exhibit A below. Their new plan is to be execute their losing strategy even more efficiently. They even announce their plan ahead of time to make sure of it!

Were I given the chance I would change their game-plan and the players. They are not going to beat the All Blacks at running rugby for, oooo, about another century or so.

So, I would suggest Kick Long and Defend Really Hard. Bugger running with the ball.

This would mean fielding the 15 best defenders in the game. I wouldn’t worry too much about their attacking capability or positions; this makes it easier to pick the best 15 defenders.

I would make sure there’s at least 2 great long kickers in there. And I would keep giving it back to Kiwis deep in their half. I would keep those kicks in the field of play and tempt the Black to run the ball out, which they would.

I wouldn’t get all fussed about contesting the line-outs; let them have it and take the benefit of not having a couple of useless jumpers in the team.

Tap re-starts from penalties would be the norm where possible rather than kicks for the line, followed immediately by long raking kicks deep into the other half..

If ever with the ball in hand on the attacking line then plan would be one of; (1) a rugby league bomb, (2) a drop goal, or (3) a rolling maul.

The scrum would need to be strong but I am guessing that a team of hard-nut defenders would have a good scrum. I’d push the scrum as hard as I could then roll it into a maul where possible. Then kick the ball long the second it comes out unless of course they happen to be near the line (bomb) or over the line by some miracle (place).

It sounds boring but Total Rugby needs to be counteracted with something quite novel like Total Defense.

If you can’t beat  the fuckers at their own game then don’t play their game, for god’s sake.