Five things I have learned by not watching Sharktank

OK I admit that there’s not a universe in which I would watch Sharktank.

I don’t even watch TV at all.

But when members of my extended family start asking me dumbass questions about startups one can only ponder that Club Australia is once again being duped by ‘form over substance’.

Fortunately it doesn’t matter. We can keep digging up stuff.

In any case LinkedIn just provided these five pearlers (IN CAPS) that I couldn’t help but comment on.

1. AUSSIES ARE MORE INGENIOUS THAN ANYONE GIVES US CREDIT FOR

A no-brainer. No one gives us any credit anyway. Don’t you just hate that expression ‘Aussie’ being thrown around? It smacks of a total lack of authenticity, morning TV and Johnny Howard.

2. THERE IS MORE TO AUSSIE STARTUPS THAN TECH

There’s rarely tech in Australian startups that isn’t off-the-shelf so I’d hope so. But usually there isn’t much of anything other than certain hipster lifestyle aspirations.

3. WE NEED MORE BUSINESS/ENTREPRENEURIAL TRAINING

No we don’t. The relevant skills are learnt only by apprenticeship in someone else’s startup and never in a classroom.

4. A LITTLE INVESTMENT REALLY CAN FUEL THE FIRE

Which is our problem. Always little tiny bits of investment, just enough to light the pilot flame, that go nowhere.

5. PEOPLE GET EXCITED BY GENUINE AND AUTHENTIC FOUNDERS

Which people? The ones that watch Sharktank? A VC with a decade of experience can tell the difference but your mug punter, no way.