Invention of the day 5

Of late there seems to be Australian footballers getting caught using all sorts of performance enhancing drugs; peptides, coke, steroids etc.

ASADA is forever seeking the next dickhead that has sucked up one protein shake too many.

As an aside ADADA doesn’t actually make it easy to find the list of banned substances – what they have is a ‘check your substance’ search engine which sort of assumes an athlete has it in their hot little hands. Funky.

Enter the invention of the year … homeopathic performance enhancing drugs. They simply can’t be detected.

All you have to do is make a cocktail containing every single performance enhancing drugs known to mankind (see below) and then dilute the buggery out of it until there’s no chance of finding a single molecule of anything.

But it will still work because water apparently has ‘memory’ and this memory will make better footballers out of the most journey of men.

On the patenting front I might have difficulties with prior art, usefulness, and even the idea itself might be obvious to a homoeopath practiced in the art of deception.