The long game

My uncle Gary chews every mouthful of food 100 times and he likes talking.

Consequently he is the slowest eater I have ever met.

When quizzed on this peculiarity over his dinner (the rest of us had long finished and he was winding up my brother by suggesting Australia should pump all it’s coastal river water into the inland for irrigation – I had to change the subject) he admitted that he had never been asked before and was himself quite unsure where the habit came from.

After a few more painfully slow mouthfuls he admitted he may have over-absorbed advice from his elders as a child, and that, yes, he doesn’t mind winding people up.