Roller derby

It turns out that the old bridge at the north end of the Bund, and within spitting distance of my Juliette balcony, is a magnet for bridal couples and their photographers.

I spent more of my day watching them than bears consideration. It was very morish.

The Chinese, despite their vocal disdain for the original shaky islanders, are going very Japanese in matters weddings. Zany rules.

The highlight was the couple, in full wedding regalia, roller blading with a jogging photographer in tow.

This is the middle of the road mind you, which in Shanghai cannot be considered the safest of environs.

And they were, at best, moderately competent in the arts skiller.

Coming off the bridge the mild slope got the better of the soon-to-be Mrs and away she went, out of control, towards me.

Horror was written on her face as she realized what every beginner belatedly discovers; no brakes.

Eventually she came a cropper in the middle of the intersection. Torn dress, grazes and tears.

Every onlooker within a 2 km radius came to her assistance and the ensuing melee went on for half an hour.

By which time the traffic jam had radiated away from the intersection as far as my eyes could see. And I was up on the third floor with pretty good visibility.

It’s likely that the butterfly effect affected all of Shanghai, all 6 zillion square kilometres of it.

I don’t have any Chinese but I think it’s fair to say that the odd opinion was being shared by the crowd. It sounded like a football match from my vantage point.

Eventually the cops came screaming up on their 125 cc Yamahas (a tad embarrassing you would think) with sirens blazing.

Half an hour of shouting and screaming later the masses were dispersed and the bride carried off in a taxi.

The moral to the story, if there is one, is to those of you females considering getting married; roller blades and wedding dresses should not be imagined for the same day.

I might just warn my eleven year old daughter, along with the advice to never wear white jeans. You never know.

(Very unlike me I forgot to take a good photo of the events…it was too exciting to go and get the phone…here’s the bridge anyway).