Commitment paradox

The desire for commitment in a relationship is clear – it’s a support mechanisms for the tough things in life, like having kids. That might be the justification, but I would also argue that for many people the desire to be in a committed relationship is in fact ’emotional’, not rational.

Evolution is a sneaky beast – it takes a whole bunch of environmental factors, parses them in the context of how to best propagate the species, and the distils them down into ’emotions’. Its no mystery that there a hundreds of psychological conditions that end up in ‘abnormal’ sexual behaviour; nature is having us on!

Observations. I observe carefully and catalogue trends. In relationships I have observed that probably more than 90% fail despite an initial sense of commitment. The number might be lower for married couple, but so? Of the couples that survive forever, I see one single correlation; they keep their world ‘constant’. That is, by minimising change they remove the forces that challenge their commitment to each other.

And if individuals in a committed relationships want to actively explore exciting ‘change’ then its illogical for them to think that their committed relationship will survive. And I see the idea of living in a constant world as quite irrational. But I always liked a challenge.