Football

In the ideal football scenario we poison the Rabbits who are then eaten by the Lions, thus getting rid of two plagues in one effort.

The Scroos gets disqualified from Brazil on some technicality so we don’t have to watch them lose three pool games.

The Swans hire some quality players so we don’t have to always rely on them being the hardest working team on the planet.

The Wobblies go to a boot camp laying train tracks in the Great Sandy Desert for 3 months over summer, and then come back to win a tournament, any tournament, by being the best team from start to finish.

Finally, the Tigers get demoted to the NSW cup so we can watch them go around at Leichhardt Oval twice a month.