The 5 all-time worst inventions:

The 5 all-time worst inventions:

The shopping trolley
The splade
The fondue set
The CD cover
The steam mop
Honourable mention – the wine bottle pump

How is it that we put up with shopping trolleys with club-wheels or that are virtually impossible to steer once outside the smooth confines of the supermarket floors, i.e. in and on the way to the car park? We know that this is not a serious technology challenge. Supermarkets, you need to concentrate on the customer experience! Smart trolleys anyone?

The splade (or spork or spoves or splayds) was an attempt to merge a fork with a knife AND a spoon. It’s a great example of combining the worst features of all elements. However some great marketing to consumers (like my mother) meant that plenty of kids managed to pierce their cheeks with these things while gobbling their ice cream. I still have a good chuckle when someone whips out the splades at a dinner party. Embarrassingly the splade was invented in Sydney.

The fondue set is a classic example of the ‘use once and box forever’ consumer problem. Its appealing in a ‘Peter Sellers’ sort of way to imagine a nude chocolate fondue party, but the reality is a sticky mess with hours of cleaning up for the host. Some years after boxing, and after the capital loss has been emotionally accepted as a reality, these things end up as unwanted garage sale items.

I once saw an article highlighting that Philips was throwing a 20th anniversary bash for the invention of the CD cover. Really! Was there ever another piece of consumer technology less fit for purpose? In the days when I still had CDs I did not have a single cover that was not chipped or broken, and with the little bit in the middle stretched to the point of not holding the CD in its place. And didn’t we love trying to get the sleeve out of the cover for a read?

The steam mop simply does nothing. Never did. Despite this most people think that it really should. Cheap marketing campaigns always find hopeful cleaners looking for a short cut.

The wine pump (and associated ‘corks’) is supposed to suck out the air and thereby seal a wine bottle between uses. The partial pressure in a wine bottle created by a wine pump is pretty minimal although it just might be enough to stop air flow, if it stays sealed. But do you trust one enough to lay the bottle on its side in a fridge? I have always thought it more advisable just to finish the bottle.