mxx1's avatar

Psychokiller

So I was accused by some Americans of letting my young son express all his feelings, however he wants to.

I say ‘accused’ because it’s the exact opposite of what they do, rather than what they say they do.

You can express yourself in the American middle classes just so long as you bracket yourself in psychobabble: the sort kids don’t have and therefore can’t express.

The old fashioned word for this is ‘hypocrisy’. And yes I’m calling out the whole of the US middle classes as hypocrites.

They focus on emotional regulation and validation. And actual babble.

I tried starting this conversation in GPT and proved my point:

“If they mean you allow him to identify, describe and talk about his emotions, that is generally considered healthy. If they mean every feeling is treated as requiring validation, accommodation or action, that’s a different issue.”

I had an allergic reaction to that response. We know no kid wants to talk about their emotions; they just have feelings. And they certainly don’t need them validated, FFS.

Basically self interest rules: practising validation preserves authority which is required to control the little bastards, which in turn is required for an easy life, and to fit in with all the other idiots.

Correct.

Except it’s not, in the long run. All they do is preserve and promote their own fuckedupedness, generation after generation. All in the interest of control, ego and assimilation.

No, GPT, I mean letting him do and say whatever the fuck he wants, whenever the fuck he wants. If he crosses a line I explain the consequences that might ensue in general society.

I’m trying to show him how to own himself, inclusive of the consequences of his actions.

Back to the robot – “The core distinction you’re making, though, is clear: freedom of expression first, consequences second, rather than prior permission mediated through psychological doctrine.”

No, freedom of expression is a symptom – a natural consequence of (self) integrity, mate.

And, being alienated from yourself leads to mental illness and unhappiness. That I’m sure of.

The parent should not primarily be an emotional manager or behavioural engineer. The question parents need to ask is “How do I help my child remain honest with themselves while learning to live with other people?”